I was thinking back to a time last year, when for a brief, beautiful time, everything in my life felt so easy and so clear.

I'm not sure where that got lost, it was somewhere between here and there, I think it was still hanging around when the snow was falling and we made curry puffs and watched a little dog race like a rabbit through the snow, but then winter turned to spring, and then summer, and it was final, nothing changed, everything was stuck, and like every good atheist, I lost my will to believe.

Still, every time I wrote "All you need is love," I really did believe. 

It's not easy. At least it's not as easy as it looks. Ice cream on paper plates is also a lie. And when they tell the story of everyone else, they skip over all the parts where it was just unbearable. 

If I could do anything in the world, I would go on a long, long trip.

When I wake up, strawberry fields is where I want to be.